April 4 - church Easter egg hunt
April 10 - Anna's friend, Emma Claire's, Easter Party; Easter Services at some of our friends' church
April 11 - Anna's friend's (Kaitlyn) birthday party
April 13 - Eye Exam
April 23 - Pregnancy Resource Banquet
April 25 - March of Dimes 5K
April 29 - Baskin Robbins 31 cent scoop night; Parents meeting at church
May 2 - yard sale
May 4 - Mother-Daughter Banquet
May 5 - my dear friend, Ron Mitchell passed away
May 7 - visitation for Bro. Ron
May 8 - fly out to D.C.
May 8 - 14 - in D.C.
May 15 - return home
May 17th - Day of Revival
May 24 - 27 - my sister and niece here to visit, went to the park, the zoo, swimming, etc.
May 30 - Redbirds Game
June 6 - Eli's birthday party (note his bday isn't until the 20th)
June 7 - wedding shower
June 10 - Eli to the doctor; VBS workers meeting
June 13 - Anna's friends bday party
June 20 - wedding out of town; Eli's birthday, Anna friend's (Jaden) bday party, baby shower; of which the wedding was the only one I attended
June 22 - Eli's 2 yr. appt.
June 25th - left for St. Louis for Women of Faith Conference
June 26 - 27 - conference
June 28 - returned home
This didn't include church, meetings or appts. Mark had, his work days, the days I worked, or anything related to day to day living (like household chores and responsibilities).
The said part is that July isn't looking much better.
4th of July - fireworks at the fairgrounds
July 6 - 11 - VBS decoration and set-up
July 13-16: VBS
July 16 - dentist appt.
July 20 - my birthday
July 22 - my mom's knee replacement surgery
After two weeks of being in the hospital, my mom is going to require help, which my sister and I have volunteered to do. I don't know how it'll all work out, but the fact is, it'll just have to.
It's no wonder that I've been feeling absolutely exhausted, burnt out, and on some days at my wits end.
Amidst all of this, I've been trying to make changes that I know God wants me to make. I've set out on a mission to read the Bible cover to cover by the end of the year. I doubt this will happen because if I'm being honest, (I can do that here, right?) I all together skipped reading anything in January and February. Every since then, I've been really consistent, but playing catch up is really hard.
I've also been trying to exercise and lose weight. Do I think God cares how I look? Not at all. But do I believe He cares about my health and the way I take care of my body? Absolutely. I've pretty much been a slacker on this as well until the past month.
I've also been trying to work on patience. And let me tell you, God must really have a sense of humor because the way things have been going the past few weeks, He's really giving me a lot to try my patience out on.
Amidst the changes I'm trying to make, is every day life. Dishes, laundry, sweeping, mopping, dusting, vacuuming, toilets to be cleaned, trash to be taken out, the yard to mow, groceries to buy, and two very busy toddlers to take care of.
Add the events on the calendar into the mix and I'm not really sure how we've been pulling it all off.
After skipping two days of exercise, I found myself determined to fit it in this morning. Anna was up at 5:18 (*sigh*) and I was dragging around. I had (still have) a crick in my neck that hurt(s) horribly, but it didn't matter. I began talking to myself. It went something like this: "Self, I don't care if your neck falls off, you WILL do crunches. Get your lazy rear in the floor and just do it." So I did. Then I did 15 minutes on the elliptical machine. And I'm glad I did.
But what's my point in telling you this? Amidst my talking to my self, in a very negative manner I might add, God brought a passage of verses to my mind:
1 For everything there is a season, a time for every activity under heaven.
2 A time to be born and a time to die. A time to plant and a time to harvest.
3 A time to kill and a time to heal. A time to tear down and a time to build up.
4 A time to cry and a time to laugh. A time to grieve and a time to dance.
5 A time to scatter stones and a time to gather stones. A time to embrace and a time to turn away.
6 A time to search and a time to quit searching. A time to keep and a time to throw away.
7 A time to tear and a time to mend. A time to be quiet and a time to speak.
8 A time to love and a time to hate. A time for war and a time for peace.
Do I need to read my Bible every day? Yes
Do I need to exercise and stay healthy? Yes
Do I need to work on patience? Yes
Do I need to take care of my household? Yes
Do I think Christians should volunteer? Yes
Do I think individual time needs allocated for my husband? Yes
For my Kids? Yes
Do I want my kids to go to birthday parties and other fun things? Yes
Do I myself want to go to weddings and showers? Yes
Do I want to continue working part time? Yes
Do I want to go on vacations and short trips? Yes
Do I want a clean house? Yes
Do I want to learn to sew? Yes
Do I want Anna to take dance lessons or play soccer? Yes
Eli to play little league baseball? Yes
But the bigger question is: do I think it all has to be in this season of my life. And the answer is a simple resounding NO.
Prioritize. Prioritize. Prioritize. My babies won't be little much longer. And when they're gone, I still want to have invested enough time and energy into my marriage that Mark and I are still best friends. I want to be close(r) to God and have daily Bible time. I want to be healthy, for myself, for my family, and so that I'm still capable of serving and doing for my family and for my church. I want to invest the majority of my time and energy into being a Godly wife and mother so that I can raise children who will love and serve the Lord.
Everything else falls into the "if it fits" category. Even the New Year's resolutions I set. I will continue to study my Bible daily. But if I don't finish it cover to cover by the end of the year, oh well. I think God is more interested in me developing a better relationship with Him than He is with me saying "hey, I met a goal". I want to know that at days end, that I've accomplished things that really mattered and made a difference. If that means that the house isn't as clean as it could be because I was at the park with the kids, then I'm okay with that. If it means that I have to tell someone no so that I can have a night with my husband, then I'm okay with that too. Because right now I'm in the season of life that requires most of my energy to be put into my wonderful husband and my absolutely beautiful kiddos.
I can't do it all. And the first step is in acknowledging that and knowing that that's perfectly okay.