Have you ever felt like you were drowning, just barely staying afloat each day? Like you're failing at everything. Failing your husband. Failing your kids. Failing your family and friends. Failing as a Christian..... failing yourself?
I was there.
I struggled day in and day out just to make it to bedtime. I lived for the moments when Emi would take a nap so I could take one too.... for when the kids would go to bed, just so I could rest. I literally was sleeping almost half of my life away, yet never feeling rested or refreshed. And I'd get up and do it all over again.
My kids got to where they wouldn't even ask me to do things with them and if I said yes, they knew that really meant maybe - maybe if she's not tired or if she doesn't have a headache. I hated this. I despised it, yet I felt powerless to change it.
We bought Advil in bulk at Sam's. I would have headaches 3-5 days a week, at times so severe I would be vomiting and in bed a good portion of the day.
I was dealing with anxiety regarding multiple things - some significant, some trivial - to the point I would give myself diarrhea and begin vomiting. I would wake up in the middle of the night, shake Mark in a state of panic thinking someone was in the house.... frequently.
Add to that dealing with IBS (Irritable Bowel Syndrome) that I've had for 14 years, frequent UTI's, fever blisters, pink eye, and then to top if off, my hair began falling out after I had Emi and 18 months later it hadn't stopped. It was severe enough I went to the doctor ..... and he recommended I start Rogaine for women. Yeah... that last sentence was really hard for me to type.
I hated that my wedding rings didn't fit anymore. The only way I could wear them is because they were literally stuck on my finger. I asked multiple times if I could just have them sized up a 1/2 - 1 size, although I didn't know how I was going to get them off. And those of you who know Mark will get a kick out of his response: "Do you know how expensive gold is right now?!" He was right. It was ridiculous to want to re-size my rings bigger instead of just fixing the problem.
Problem was - I tried to fix it. It just wasn't working.
I would exercise and cut back on sweets, yet never be able to lose more than the same 10-15 lbs, which always seemed to find their way back. And oh did I love me some sweets. I craved them. I felt crabby if I didn't eat them. I loved to buy the 3 lb (or is it 5 lbs?) tub of chocolate chip cookie dough at Sam's. Then just frequent the refrigerator throughout the day for a few bites.... or for some late night chocolate ice cream topped with cookie dough and drizzled in chocolate syrup. Never mind the brownies I had eaten that day or the cake earlier in the week, or the mini reeses peanut butter cups, or the stops at Sonic for a cherry Dr. Pepper..... it was always something.
And I hated it.
Stick with me here. I told you all of that to get to what I really want you to glean from all of this.
I hated that I couldn't seem to get a grasp on the self control and self discipline I so desperately wanted and needed. But worse, that began flowing over into thoughts about my faith.
"You're so weak." "You're not trusting God enough." "Good Christians have self control and don't struggle with these issues." "You need to rely on Him more and these things wouldn't be an issue." "Your faith is so shallow."
What I didn't know was that there was a reason behind all those things.
A little thing known as candida, or for us regular folks, yeast. And to be more precise, an overgrowth of yeast in my gut. Our American, super-processed, high fructose corn syrup, sugar-y diets feed this yeast until it begins taking over our guts and cravings and demanding more sugar. And this overgrowth is what causes what is referred to as a leaky gut. And what does a leaky gut cause? You guessed it. About everything I had been experiencing as well as a host of other things.
So, when people ask me "Why Plexus?". This is why. It works. It goes to the core of the problem and fixes it. It doesn't band-aid it, cover it up, or mask the issue.
Since starting Plexus, naps are now a treat, not a necessity. I go to bed and sleep like a rock. I wake up feeling refreshed, often before my alarm even goes off. I'm doing more and more with my kids, so much so that Anna recently told someone they should try Plexus because I used to be tired all the time but now I'm like SuperMom. I have headaches probably 2-3 times a month now instead of 3-5 days a week. My anxiety has drastically decreased and has interrupted my sleep maybe 2-3 times in the past 4 months. I no longer have IBS, fever blisters, recurrent pink eye. And you know what. I did NOT start Rogaine, but I did start on Plexus' XFactor vitamins and now I have new hair growing like crazy. And that weight problem and struggle with sweets? I had lost 14 lbs prior to starting Plexus but couldn't get the scale to budge anymore. I have now lost an additional 20 pounds on top of that and am down 14 inches. My wedding rings now spin on my finger and won't even stay in place. And when I'm super cold, I have to be cautious when washing my hands that they don't slip right off.
You know about the only thing it didn't solve?
Hang with me here. This is my whole point in this post.
It didn't solve the attacks from Satan on my faith.
I still struggle with feeling that needing something to help me means I don't really trust God. I struggle with the influence that Mark and I have among our friends and family and petitioning God that we always use that wisely. I've struggled with me going public about Plexus and if that's affected people in a negative manner. If they've somehow believed that Christ isn't sufficient, if they've thought that casting all our cares on Him isn't good enough, if they've thought that running to something else means that He isn't the Great Physician or that knowing and quoting Scriptures aren't effective enough. I've wondered if they're in need of a Savior if my promoting Plexus is band-aiding their true problem.
Oh how I've struggled with this, both in testing what I truly believe and in praying that I never lead anyone astray.
The truth is that He IS enough - He's always enough. And if He's all I ever have, that will be more than enough. Had I never heard of Plexus, He would still be getting me through each and every day, just like He did 4 months ago and continues to do every day since then and will continue to do every day the rest of my life.
I've had to come to the realization that we only have one life - and I want to live mine abundantly. And I believe that Christ wants us to live an abundant life as well. I think living in survival mode does more damage to our testimony than taking supplements designed to help get and keep us healthy.
I had to realize that if we wouldn't tell someone with high blood pressure or diabetes or high cholesterol to not take medication, then I shouldn't worry about needing a product that kills the yeast overgrowth in my gut to help me not have to take medications for headaches, IBS, hair growth, etc.
But more than anything, I'm learning that His grace is sufficient. He's teaching me that although these products have been life changing for me, that I'm still in need of His grace daily. He's teaching me what it means to come alongside people and genuinely care for them in a way that's much different than I'm used to (ie. my counseling office). He's teaching me to trust Him on this journey. I don't know where it will lead financially for us. That's scary for me. Both the prospect of it bottoming out and the prospect of it taking off and doing well. So I trust Him. Trust that He'll provide however He sees fit. Trust that He'll help me be successful should that be His desire for us. Trust that He'll work all things out if it doesn't.
This journey has led me to prayer, time and time again. Praying for those under me. Praying for my customers. Praying for those interested. Praying that God would give me wisdom to share but not be pushy. Praying that God would let others see Him through me and that Plexus wouldn't interfere but could be another means for me to share His faithfulness.
Because what I've also come to realize is that those who know me ... well, they know me. They know that I would never elevate Plexus to where only God can be. They know that if someone is in need of Christ that I'll be there to answer their questions, pray with them... for them, and that by the end I'll be crying tears of joy for them as I have so many times before. They know when times are tough, they can come to me. They know if they need help moving, if they need a friend to sit with them in a waiting room, if they need prayer about a concern, or want me to just sit in silence with them as they grieve - they know. They know I'll be there. And at some point, I had to realize this and tell Satan to just shut it.
Because Plexus will never change who I am at the core. It won't change that I'm a wife and mother, a friend, daughter, sister. It won't change that I love Christ and fully trust Him, not just with this, but with all things. It hasn't changed how I quote Scriptures to myself throughout the day or pray for those who come to mind as I go about my day.
It hasn't changed me. It's only changed how my gut functions and in turn, how I look and feel. But those things aren't me.
Because as I step foot on the airplane to Honduras in a few weeks, I can assure you it's Scripture that I'll be quoting and prayers I'll be praying to the One who holds all things in His hands.
So for those who know me, not much has changed other than how I look and feel. And for those who don't know me all that well, maybe this will help answer "Why Plexus?".
Because for me, it's really kind of changed into "Why not?"